IJC Cover

Hello to my friends & readers

Throughout stories like "In Jasper's Care", "Switch", "Fallout", "Criminal" and a dozen or so others, I have had the good luck to have a group of people who always came in and gave me their opinions.  I am grateful to each and every one of you.

It's been awhile since I've posted anything substantial, so I don't hear from anyone much.  I miss you all;  Princess Hayley, Poppywillow, rolange, sad_faerie, dangermagnet21 and a myriad others.    To all of you, I apologize for a lack of new fics, and would love to hear how you're all doing.

Best wishes in all your days, dreams and fictions.


I remember when I saw this pic for the first time,
I thought Rob looked like he might fall backwards any minute, Kristin & all.



Despite having done something similar before, I have been asked to post the music which inspired this piece, so...


The mystically black, storm drenched night was an unlikely time for anyone to be standing outside.  But he stood beneath a grouping of trees, collar turned up against the weather, a hat sifting a curtain of water away from his face.  Lightning flashed and his face was starkly and grimly outlined for a moment.   He stood still, hands in the pockets of his black rain coat.  His face seeming expressionless at first, but as the second bolt of lightning lit him up along with the land around him, something in the shape of his eyebrows changed.  Something in the silent set of his mouth, in the deep, recessed darkness of his eyes showed through.  There was an emptiness there, it hinted at a loneliness. 

Collapse )

Notes on Speak, by Laurie Halse Anderson

            I've been reading Speak. 

Kristin Stewart was in the film based on the book.  I enjoyed the film, she did a good job, but it's not quite the same as reading the book.  There's something in the way Anderson wrote it which is brilliant.  It's brilliant because she wrote it in...detached first person. 

That's the only thing I can call it, and the only thing I can maybe compare it to is   "November, December, January, February" in New Moon.  The way she wrote about how hard that period of time was, the sense of detachment from life around her.  It's that same feeling. 

It's very hard for me to read.  Because if  you know the story of Speak, it is a novel about a girl who is raped at a party, and about how it plunges her into a well of uncommunicative internalized grief.  Its something I relate to too strongly. 

It makes me wonder if its possible for a traumatic event in your youth can entirely freeze your development.  Maybe I'm so immature because once I was damaged, perhaps my emotional growth was retarded.  Maybe too large a part of me is still a little molested girl?  I don't know.   

I've also been re-evaluating that time in my life, because I have always remembered it as being when I was 7.  But I recently realized I wasn't.  Because my grades went to hell after it happened,  and I was held back a year. 

That was in 4th grade, we moved to Redondo Beach, and I went through 4th again, because I just couldn't get it right the first time.  I wasn't right the first time.

So that would have been when I was around 9...and then I remember moving here when I was 10, but according to the year we moved, I should have been 11.  I only know that senior year most of the kids in my class were 17, but I was 18 and well on my way to 19 by the time I graduated High School.

So Speak is very hard to read.   Her grades drop, she begins to pay attention to everything everyone else does, and is hyper aware of her own actions, but looks past them in the hopes of not seeing what she's really doing, which is alienating everyone who has made her feel like the outcast (after she's raped, she calls the cops on the party..everyone considers her a snitch...all she really is, is a victim.  The injustice of that is very wicked.)

I seem to have lost a year or two somewhere in there.  The numbers just don't add up.  I wonder what age I really am?


Darkest Hours - A Morganville Vampire Series story

Author: NiceIceEdward
Title: Darkest Hours
Cover Art: by Elisabeth_l
Pairing: Claire / Michael G
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers:  All, up to and including Kiss of Death.
Summary: Two of the Glass House roommates are missing, an envelope with familiar writing could hold the answer. Join the remaining roommates as they open their letter, and discover the secrets and dangers which keep their friends away.

Disclaimer: All characters remain the sole property of Rachel Caine, the author, and her publisher.
**Author's Note: My very deep gratitude to CedwardIsHot for her awesome beta services**


Chapter 1

Collapse )

Proof of Life (2000)

I just watched Proof of Life.  The last 2 minutes, Terry looks on as Alice drives away.  He looks heartbroken, but he's letting her go.  Meanwhile, this song is playing and tearing my heart out.  Suddenly,  it hits me; Rob Pattinson, it's Van Morrison's original version of "I'll be Your Lover, Too".  It's so poignant.  I love Rob's version, but Van Morrison is the original.  Somehow...it makes the moment so bittersweet, and forlorn. 

I feel like I want there to be a part two. 

Of course, we all know there is no sequel.  Even the off-screen romance chilled. 

The dialogue is mostly awful, but it has its moments.  The story is entertaining and I actually enjoyed the acting.

Sometimes old films I've seen, surprise me with a second viewing.
Van Morrison - I'll Be Your Lover

Van Morrison - I'll Be Your Lover from http://essy.vox.com/
Just a random little side note.  As you head up out of Auburn, CA and up toward Donner Pass, there is a Fire Station up on the southern hill beside the freeway.  It's always reminded me of the ending helicopter shot from Proof of Life.  For this reason, it always made me a little sad as I would drive past

Writer's Block: Sheldon and Penny 4ever!

Fanfiction: Do you love it or hate it, or are you totally indifferent? Why?

I love to write Fanfiction, I'm not as fond of reading it. 

I love writing it, because it allows me to fill in gaps or holes in stories.  Continuity, or even just unanswered questions can be tackled in the world of fanfiction.  Also, the stress of keeping track of your character and all their idiosyncrasies is removed by the simple fact that they've already been created.  

I also love Fan Fiction, because it seems to inspire a lot of young girls to write.  Even if they're using someone else's characters, they creativity of the stories, and the plot originality always astonishes me. 


(no subject)

Dear ----

I can feel it in the way you hold me, and the way you look at me.  I can sense it in the guarded way you wait until I express anything, to express it yourself.  You still love me, and enough that it is like a knife.  I could cut you quite easily, and I happen to know I will.  

I can't ever love you the way you want me to.  I don't have it in me, not for you.  Long, long ago my love was taken, stolen.  I can't give it anywhere else when I no longer hold it.

You are a tender spot in my history, my refuge at the end of both my marriages.  For this reason I wish I could tell you that I don't love you, and be brave enough to just face it alone.  But, I am weak.  I will allow you to cling, I will allow your family adore me. These things will all spell your ruination and heartbreak.

Your only savior is my child, because I cannot allow that love to grow.

Your guardian angel is a child, and the woman you love, is a coward.

I'm sorry. 


(no subject)

I've only done this once before.  I am sooo pimping a band I've discovered that I LOVE!!

Tiger Lou

  • Current Music
    Tiger Lou,The War Between Us

In The Wall's Shadow

Title: In The Wall's Shadow
Author: NiceIceEdward
Character(s)/Pairing: Edward/Bella
Rating: Adult
Summary:  While he & Bella wait in a line among a crowd of human's, one voice calls out Edward's name. The voice is aged, as is its owner, but who is she and how does she know Edward. AU EPOV

Disclaimer:  The characters in this story remain the sole property of the original author, the illustrious Stephanie Meyer, and her publisher, Little Brown Books.  No copyright infringement is intended.


Collapse )